Can't tell you how many times I've heard the "Oh I've already dealt with that" statement from clients. Sometimes I even know, by the way they say it, that it's exactly what we need to work on.
And I always tell them the same little story. Always give them the same layers model of how personalities develop and healing of deeper wounds works.
Surprisingly, it seems like many professional helper/healers are not aware of this simple way of understanding what's going on. So here it is...
Start with the Notion of Personalities as Layered
Imagine the beginning of life as the center of a circle. Around it form expanding rings of experience, learning, and yes, also at times--damage. This damage comes from overwhelm to the nervous system, is called "trauma," happens in many forms, and is inflicted these days to way too many of us.
As I've explained in recent blogs and newsletters, trauma causes "blurbacks" (or flashbacks) that overwhelm and can cause similar overwhelms to recur. Blurbacks, by the way, happen when anxious feelings from previous overwhelms attach themselves inappropriately to present circumstances.
So now, as the layers keep adding on, like the growth a tree, damage that is closely related to the original events shows up on more superficial layers. Not too different from cracks in these tree rings.
For Serious Damage--It's a "Wound System"
So let's say that in layers 5 and 6, somebody got badly abused in the family. Well that led to an expectation that love comes only with abuse. Now we see that person, around layers 12 or 13 (puberty, say), getting abused in an early relationship.
And maybe you are that person (or are working with that person) now trying to heal this much later after an abusive marriage.
Suppose it looks like the damage in this tree. Does it make sense to think all these layers will heal all at once?
For interesting and helpful answers to this question, just read on in this short article.
Halloween, Day of the Dead, and How Family Constellations Work
Family Energetics--Why, What, & How
Five Facts About Personal and Ancestral Trauma
Personality Layers--Why Some Wounds Need More Than One Healing
Solution Focus Solves the Problem
3 Steps to Safety in Extreme Weather
Power up Your Affirmations with Breath
Seed Time--or Grow a Good Future
Can Empathy Win at Armageddon?
Earth, Families, and Personal Transformation
Good Health as a Sacred Fire
Your Safety as Earth-Changes Accelerate
Karen and the Alien Hand--Why I Do Inner Family Constellations
Music, Migrations, and Health--In Tough Times
Better Private Family Constellations: The Three Session Package