Already read this in the NYTimes Discussion? Then look at “Do Ancestral Families Have Soul?”

I too practice a healing modality known in the US as “Systemic Constellations,” or “Family Constellations.” The word “constellations” here is not a reference to astrology, but rather an image used to describe an ancestral family group with its own dynamic, homeostatic structure. This structure imposes different functions at times on the lives of the individuals that belong to it. Its purpose in doing so is simply the survival of the family group–the passing on of life and love through the generations.

When I hear about good parents, good siblings, and for instance one brother or sister that is somehow seriously problematic, my first impulse now is to look into the recent ancestors in the family system.

“You can’t hurt me, I already have.” Sound crazy? Maybe... but it’s what we do. Let’s say you find yourself vulnerable to some situation or person. And it doesn’t go well. You get rejected. Or you fail in some way despite your best efforts. Well, that’s sad. Typically, you might try a new tactic, or else remove yourself from the situation or person. But what if neither works? What if you’re stuck with it and it happens over and over again? So, actually, you start to anticipate the shock. More often then you might think, this can result in you creating the failure or rejection yourself—in you carrying it around with you, and deploying it before people or situations actually get the chance to deliver it to you.

So that’s it. “You can’t hurt me ’cause I’ve already done it to myself. Nyah nyah!” This kind of thing was the subject of our Constellation Call teleconference Tuesday evening.  It’s related to what Martin Seligman (the father of positive pyschology) calls “learned helplessness.” And in Constellation Work, when it happens early on in life, it’s called “interrupted movement.” But why do we do it? And how can we stop?

Yesterday I seemed to see and feel one of the great tensions that is currently pulling the world apart.

In the morning I read a NYT article (Hooked on Gadgets...) on the mental costs of computer generated eye-candy, follow-your-interest hypertext, instant gratification, and constant short-burst communications in a hundred different directions. The upshot is a brain that has lost the “literate habit” of sustained focus. It’s like a learned attention deficit disorder. Some authors (Nicholas Carr, The Shallows, for instance) feel that this sustained focus habit is responsible for most of the creative progress made to date by the human race. So, perhaps not a good thing to lose.

Then, in the evening, I attended a Native American chant and fire ceremony at the Birdsong Peace Chamber.